


Shtum

by FiveLeafClover



Category: Casualty (TV)
Genre: Drink Spiking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2019-05-19 19:51:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14880122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiveLeafClover/pseuds/FiveLeafClover
Summary: Taylor's arrest meant Cal wanted to do nothing more than drown his sorrows, but the extent to which it escalated meant he was in trouble. Will he get the help he needs before his life is haunted with memories of that night? N.B. References to rape. (From 2017 me: this fic is really bad. I don't want to delete it, but it's awful. Truly and utterly.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [backdated fic, originally posted on fanfiction/net under the username InfinityAndOne, posted here 08/06/18]
> 
> Honestly, I am in a pretty good mood today considering I am another year older, and my good mood meant that my incomplete stories all gained a lot more and are nearly completed, and also allowed this story to be created. Thank god for birthdays!
> 
> N.B. This story has sensitive issues and has content readers may find upsetting, so don't read if it affects you.

Drink after drink after drink. Cal couldn't think of doing anything else. Deep down he knew that it was right Taylor was arrested, but his heart was broken- properly and truly- and all he wanted to do was forget. It must have been about one in the morning, but Cal was so drunk he lost track of time. A man walked up to him holding a drink in his hand, and started speaking.

"I got this for a girl, but she turned it down. Do you want it, free of charge?" Cal was surprised at the soberness of this man, for he had been there just as long as the stranger had. Unfortunately for Cal, being drunk meant he wasn't as sensible as he usually was, and gratefully accept the drink off of the seemingly heart-broken man stood before him.

Cal downed the drink in a couple of mouthfuls, and the stranger stuck around. Cal decided to repay the favour and bought this man a drink. "What's your name?" Cal slurred, unaware that the stranger had tipped most of the drink in the ice bucket.

"Mike, and you?" The stranger enquired, politely. Cal smiled and shook the man's hand while introducing himself, using his, ' _Caleb, but you can call me Cal,_ ' line.

10 minutes later and Cal felt better. He felt a little spaced out, admittedly, and had forgotten about Taylor completely. That's when everything went black.

Cal was mildly aware that he was in a hotel room in the early hours of the morning, but he had frequent black out episodes, but when he was awake, he was powerless to stop anything.

Cal opened his eyes, squinting from the light shining through the window. He groaned and realised he had the worse hangover ever. Coming to his senses a little more, he realised he was laid out on a hotel room floor, and a man he remembered from the night before was sitting up in the bed, staring at him. Cal struggled to remember the name of this man, but remembered his face.

_Being pushed into a hotel room and the door being locked behind him._

Cal stared intently at this man, and he realised. "Mike..." The man reminded him. Of course, the guy who gave him the free drink. Cal rushed into the bathroom when he noticed the nauseas feeling in his stomach. After emptying it, he stood up and caught his reflection in the mirror.

What worried Cal was the pattern of bruises on his bare chest. He'd seen them enough times as a doctor, but refused to believe it had happened to him.

_Waking up on the floor with a man smirking above him with a hand clasped over his mouth._

Cal stumbled into the bedroom and Mike was smirking at him. "I had fun last night, what about you?" He snarled, obviously pleased about something.

_Hot breath on his face as he tried to shout for help. The hand clasped over his mouth stayed put as everything went dark again._

Cal shook his head. He was aware that bits of the previous night kept coming back to him, but refused to acknowledge them. This didn't happen. Cal stumbled over to his shirt and jeans and put them on hastily, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. On leaving, he heard Mike say something to him. "Keep shtum."

_"_ _Keep shtum, there we go." Mike snarled. Cal being pushed against the wall, hands pushing against his shoulders. Too drunk to resist._

Cal practically ran out of the hotel room, slamming the door behind him, but not before hearing a menacing laugh from inside.

An hour late for his shift, Cal was met with concerned glances from his colleagues. Ethan met him in the staff room, but Cal didn't notice him enter. Ethan could see the state Cal was in, and before speaking, but a reassuring hand on Cal's shoulder.

Cal spun round and pushed someone back, seeing them nearly fall to the ground. Then he realised it was Ethan. The hand on his shoulder freaked him out, though he didn't know how he would explain this to Ethan.

_Waking up again and alcohol was being forced down his throat. No choice but to swallow, before darkness._

Ethan looked at Cal and could swear that he saw a fleeting bit of fear cross Cal's face. He seemed slightly on edge, but thought nothing more of it. "You're late." He stated.

"…and the prize for pointing out the most obvious thing of the year goes too…Ethan!" Cal teased, trying all the while to cover up his nervous shakes- which didn't go unnoticed by Ethan.

"Ha ha ha," Ethan laughed sarcastically. "Connie wants to see you." Ethan heard Cal groan as he was pushed past and couldn't answer any more of Ethan's questions- while Ethan could only imagine what Connie was going to say to him.

_A knocking on the door, someone comes in and shares the same laugh as Mike did. Who is this new man?_

Three sharp knocks on Connie's office door before he heard a voice that filled him with dread. He entered and shut the door behind him, as instructed, before standing before her, sheepishly. "Dr. Knight, would you care to tell me why you were late?"

"I…er…over-slept…" He mumbled, not daring to look at her in the eyes for fear he would be turned to stone.  **(A/N I think I may have just compared Connie to Medusa…)**  "It won't happen again."

"Make sure it doesn't. Get back to work." She told him sternly, deciding not to continue it further, for she saw how on edge he looked, and his work was already struggling from Taylor's arrest.

Cal almost ran out of Connie's office, glad that particular conversation was over with. All he wanted to do was work and take his mind off the previous night, to which he kept remembering parts of it- parts he didn't want to remember.

"Not that cold, is it?" Lofty brought Cal back to reality and Cal realised he was getting pretty hot in his long sleeve top, but the hand shaped bruises on his arms meant it would be too suspicious for him to have bare arms. Cal just nodded before going to his first patient.

_A girl is dragged in unconscious a while later, Cal knows he can get out. Nothing works as his world goes black._

He pulled the curtain across and entered the cubicle, again closing the curtain to give them some privacy. He saw a young woman curled up on the bed, trembling. By the looks of it, she had been crying, and Rita was trying to comfort her. "Hello…Imogen. I'm Cal." He said, smiling as much as he could. Then she lifted his head and his smile dropped.

_The girl, waking up and looking towards a semi-conscious Cal. Mouthing 'help' before Cal felt hands hold his arms down. Darkness once again consumed him._

Cal was sure that she was the girl from the previous night, but it couldn't be, could it? It was too much of a coincidence. "Cal, may I have a word?" Rita asked softly. Cal nodded and they went a little outside the cubicle. "Last night, Imogen's drink was spiked, and we are looking at a possible sexual assault." Rita whispered carefully. Cal visibly broke down in front of her and rushed off to the bathroom to be sick.

Imogen thought, from pieces of the previous night, that the man treating her- what's his name, Cal, was the same man. She couldn't be sure though- she was completely out of it.

Entering the cubicle again after freshening up, he asked Rita what the drug was. "Ketamine." Rita answered. One of the date rape drugs. Cal's day was just getting better and better.

"O…okay…just give me a minute." Cal stammered back before rushing out of the cubicle. Imogen was sure it was the same man, and by the looks of it, he was in pieces too.


	2. Chapter 2

Sitting in the staffroom, Rita walked up to the shaking Cal. In all honesty, she was worried about him. He'd worked with a few cases like this before, so she wondered what was making him so nervous. She sat down next to him and Cal almost jumped out of his skin.

 _Through darkness, hearing screams. Scared, muffled screams. Pain as his arms were pushed harder. Darkness_.

"Rita!" Cal gasped in shock. "Don't do that!" Rita looked at him sympathetically before continuing.

"Do you want me to get another doctor to be with her?" She asked softly. Cal rose, anger boiling within him, unsure of where it came from.

"Are you saying I can't do my job?!" He spat menacingly at her. She was taken aback at the man's tone, one which she had never heard before, but she couldn't say anything in response for Ethan had beaten her do it. Silently, Rita was glad Cal's brother had walked in. Ethan approached his brother and spoke.

"Cal, is everything alright?" Cal nodded vigorously, coming to his senses a little more and starting to feel bad about what he said to Rita. "Why didn't you come home last night, Cal?" Ethan spoke worriedly. He knew Cal had been drinking, but couldn't help but think there was something more to it.

"I spent the night in a hotel. That's all." Cal replied dismissively, before rushing out of the staffroom to his patient. Rita stood up to Ethan and they both looked at Cal's retreating back.

"Something's off with him. He seems so on edge." Rita told Ethan, who nodded in agreement.

"I'll try and get to him, but we haven't been the best of brothers since...well...you know." Ethan ran a hand through his hair and he and Rita too made their way out of the staffroom.

Cal pulled open the curtain to see Imogen looking just as scared as earlier. Rita walked in after Cal and went over to comfort her. "It will be okay, darling. Whatever you want to do, we'll back you up."

"But...but it was my fault..." Imogen cried. "It was all my fault..."

"None of this is your fault, Imogen..." Rita started, but she was cut off by Imogen, trying to speak through her sobbing.

"...but he offered me a drink, and I was so careless I accepted it, not even bothering to think whether it was spiked..." She continued. Imogen knew that she wanted to go ahead with pressing charges, but she knew she would have to tell Rita about the other man there. "I can tell you two anything, right?" She asked, uncertainly clear in her voice. Both Rita and Cal nodded. "There was someone else there...there were three men. Two of them were ...well...you know. But, one of them...he was like me. She told them. Cal immediately knew this was the girl. There was no doubt about it.

Imogen saw Cal shift of his feel uncomfortably, and Rita knew he seemed slightly nervous. She saw a thin sheen of swear across his brow. "Cal, it is hot. Why don't you wear short sleeves?" She asked.

"No...no, I'm...er...I'm not hot..." He could feel himself sweating, but he couldn't roll his sleeves up.

"You're sweating..." Rita continued, but the firm shake of Cal's head made her stop and turn back to Imogen. "Can you remember what he looks like, darling?" Rita asked, gently.

"Sort of...I mean I kept blacking out, but...er...he had short light hair I think. Muscular. Er...stubble...he was scared, very scared." She confirmed. Rita had a sick feeling to the pit of her stomach as she saw Cal straighten up slightly and walk away. "Can you call my boyfriend?" She asked timidly. Rita nodded and got the number off of Imogen.

Imogen's boyfriend arrived 10 minutes afterwards, and Rita's search for Cal was unsuccessful, but she was thankful when he walked into the cubicle. Just after, Imogen's boyfriend walked in. Cal recognised him immediately, and Imogen spoke confidently to Rita, trying to hide her shaking voice.

"Rita...my boyfriend was one of them..." She confessed to her. "Him and his mate, Mike." Her voice quavered slightly and she saw Cal widen his shoulders and grab the man before he had the chance to escape.

Twist the arm, it breaks. Cal was in the perfect position to break this man's arms. How satisfying it would be, but he couldn't. That would cause suspicion. Just before he was dragged away by the police he shouted something in Cal's direction. "Keep Schtum!" Rita's sick feeling just got worse.

"Right, can I have a few minutes alone with my patient, Rita?" Cal asked, rather aggressively. She seemed uncertain whether to leave Imogen but decided to anyway. She left and closed the curtain behind her. She didn't want to let this go so stood in earshot, and more importantly, recording shot as she recorded their whole conversation on her phone.

"Your boyfriend, and his best mate raped you?!" He whispered disbelievingly. She cowered into the back of the bed before speaking.

"And you..." She bit back. She noticed a sudden change in her doctor as Cal realised she knew. "Knew it."

"No. You are not to tell anyone, understand?!" He realised he was being harsh on this venerable young woman, but the anger he felt was unimaginable.

"Why shouldn't I? They'll find out sooner or later..." She reminded him. He sighed and ran a shaky hand through his short hair.

"They won't. I'll make sure they don't." He took a seat ln the bed, defeated. How could he had been so stupid in the first place?! This time, it was his fault. He could only imagine what people would tell him if they found out. About his stupidity, his idiocy. They couldn't find out. They wouldn't.

"They will. What about your bruised arms or chest? Your obvious nervousness..." She spoke, gaining more confidence talking to the broken man sat by her.

"Don't tell them. Just...don't. Anyway, do you have a number for Mike?" He asked innocently, like the previous conversation had never happened. She nodded and gave it to him. "I'm going to have words with him." Cal spoke determined and left a confused Imogen and a concerned Rita behind.

Rita walked into Imogen's cubicle. "What was that all about?" She saw Imogen shuffle about a bit before she dismissed it with the shake of her head. Rita pressed play on the first part of the recording and Imogen gasped. "Well, we can get SARC. You can be examined, and maybe you could talk our doctor round to see sense..." At the mention of SARC, Imogen tensed.

"Can you be with me?" She asked nervously, picking at the sheets and looking anywhere but Rita's eyes. She nodded, surprised that Imogen seemed less nervous than anyone else she had been with. She correctly assumed that it was because the culprits were known and would be arrested.

Rita walked up to Ethan and took him somewhere private. He didn't have the time to ask questions before Rita played the recording and she saw Ethan crumble visibly before her. "I need to find him..."

"I think we need tell Connie..." She told Ethan. He looked at her strangely.

"Are you mad?! Cal will blow his nut if anyone finds out." He nearly shouted at the nurse, but Rita stood her ground.

"Ethan...Cal was drugged and raped..." She spoke soothingly. He nodded, knowing it was best, but secretly wishing Cal would confide in Ethan.

Cal stood on a street corner, where he intended to meet the rapist. He was sure that he would be confident when facing this man. He'd seen a few in his time as a medic, but nothing was scarier when you were facing  _your_   _own_  rapist.

Mike gingerly walked up to him, looking smug to say the least. Now Cal was beginning to have regrets about meeting him, but he couldn't tell anyone. It was all his fault it happened in the first place. He's in the wrong. Cal took a step back when Mike walked too close to him. All Cal wanted to do was run, but found he was frozen to the spot by fear. He couldn't move and the usually confident Cal was terrified.

"I wondered when I'd be meeting you again..." Mike grinned slyly. Cal had no response whatsoever. He just shrugged, and could feel nervous trembles rolling throughout his body as he tried to get over his fear. The immense fear as the man stepped even closer to him.

_The warm breath all too familiar. The girl passed out as all Cal knew was drunken memories and pain._

"The police are on their way..." Cal stuttered. Mike took a step back, seemingly scared. That act was over in a matter of seconds.

"You see, I don't think they are." His menacing laugh that Cal had heard throughout the night. Then he got angry. It was less of the fact that his rapist was standing before him, but more that he raped an innocent young girl.

Mike felt a punch to his stomach, followed by one to his jawline. God, Cal knew how to throw a punch. The next thing Cal defiantly wasn't expecting. Mike fought back with a kick to Cal's ribs and a definite crack. Then a punch just to make it that bit more painful. Doubling over from the pain and one final blow to the head. Darkness consumed Cal again, darkness that Cal had grown to like.

For darkness meant no pain. No memories. No stupidity. Just, darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I don't know how long this will be, but longer than I originally planned! Thank you for the reviews on the first chapter, I'm glad you are enjoying it!
> 
> Thoughts on this chapter?


	3. Chapter 3

Pain was all he felt. His heart beating against his chest, thumping against his ribs. His head ache- a thousand times worse than earlier. Cal was growing accustomed to waking up in pain. He may not like it- but dreamless sleep started to become a bit of a habit. Knowing that is was death felt like; Cal was reluctant to have another one of those sleeps.

Sirens in the background made Cal's head pound. His eyes were opening and closing as all he wanted to do was succumb to the pain that he felt. He wanted to move badly, and unlike the previous night, nothing was restraining him. However, Cal found that was not strictly true. No person was holding him down to the ground, but his pain disallowed him to move. All Cal wanted was to get up and walk away, leaving all this behind.

Then he remembered Mike. Where was he?! Of course, he had done a runner and probably escaped. Then the sirens stopped at two people he knew all too well jumped out and started speaking. Despite Cal trying to keep it a secret, somehow most of the ED knew about the suspected sexual assault.

After Rita left, Robyn helped Imogen. She was worrying about her doctor, and carelessly let the secret spill out to Robyn- causing the news to spread a little too quickly. No one really knew how it spread to the Ambulance station, but it did. Cal was in for a shock when he found out.

Cal was trying his absolute best to try and stay awake, silently hoping not to fall into another dreamless state. The voices he heard sounded distant, as if he was at one end of a tunnel, and they were at the other end. He could hear them nonetheless.

"Cal?" Dixie spoke in shock as she and Iain ran up to Cal, who was lying on his back with a bleeding head and obviously in some discomfort. "What happened to you?" Stupid question- but all the same.

"Punched…" Cal gasped, desperately trying to get air into his lungs- though each breath caused more pain to his ribs.

"It's okay, mate, just going to slip this oxygen mask on you." Iain told him, while doing as he explained. "Do you know who did this to you?" He asked cautiously. By this point, Cal was putting all his energy into staying awake and didn't have the thought process to lie.

"Mike…" He breathed before the inevitable happened and he did what he didn't fancy doing, as darkness consumed him for the millionth time that day and he fell into a dreamless sleep that he both loved and hated. Iain and Dixie looked at each other knowingly. Mike was a man that Imogen talked about. They instantly knew what happened.

Iain got to work cutting Cal's top off of him and both he and Dixie saw many hand shaped bruises, along with a couple more recent ones by his rib cage. "Cracked ribs?" Iain speculated.

"Most likely broken- those bruises look worse." Iain knew Dixie wasn't just talking about the bruises on his rib cage. "We're going to need to get him in fast." She continued. Iain nodded and went to get a stretcher. Dixie looked into the pale face of this young man, wondering why he didn't just admit it.

Iain ran back with the board to Dixie who looked sort of troubled, but at the same time, confused. Dixie looked towards Iain and he looked on the brink of questioning her. He tried to find the right words, but couldn't, and was lucky Dixie could read him like a book. "I'm just wondering why he didn't say anything." She told him. He nodded, in truth, he thought the same thing.

"I thought that too. I mean, as a doctor, he sees a few cases like this- and, I mean, you always encourage them to go to SARC, or the police…" He carried on for her. They were both confused. Cal had a strong head, and surely he could do the right thing- like he told many of his patients. They had no time to speculate further before Cal's eyes fluttered open again.

Pain again. Can he never get any sleep without waking up in pain? Hang on- cold. He was so cold. He wasn't lying on his bed; he was lying on a cold floor. Why?

Mike. That's all his thoughts seemed to be haunted with recently. That man. He tried moving but the pain made his ribs hurt again. Everything flooded back in that instant of feeling painful ribs. His headache and his heart beating against his chest. His eyes swam in and out of focus, until he saw Dixie and Iain. "Wakey wakey, sunshine." Dixie teased him, which made both Iain and Cal smile slightly. "How're you feeling?" Dixie asked him. Stupid as it was, it was the best question in this situation.

"Dandy…" came Cal's snide remark. Dixie looked confusingly towards Iain and he shared the same look. What caused Cal to be slightly off. "Sorry…" He added. He too was unsure where that came from. The accepted it with the nod of their heads.

"Well?" Dixie persisted, half expecting another snide remark from the man. Cal would have lied, so he could forget about everything, but he still wasn't entirely with it, so it was effortless to tell the truth.

"In pain…" He gasped, as he tried to inhale more oxygen after he tried to shift slightly. Dixie placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him, but he flinched away from it and gasped in pain again. Dixie accepted it as Iain prepared to put Cal on the board.

"We can give you some morphine." Dixie told him soothingly as his shoulders relaxed slightly.

"Don't worry, I'm…becoming increasingly accustomed…to the feeling…" He breathed. Without warning, another wave of tiredness passed over him again and he tried his best to fight it off. He realised that instead of this being a release from the pain, morphine would do just as well.

His fight proved unsuccessful as his eyes closed once again and his world was plunged into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your reviews on the last chapter, and I have decided to upload this- not even a day after the second chapter- due to Jinxy13112 asking me to upload it tonight. I felt too mean not to! Chapter 4 should be up tomorrow.
> 
> Sunsetstargazer left a review- suggesting an idea. Thanks to that idea, my original Chapter 3 is now Chapter 5- with a little bit extra added thanks to this chapter, and Chapter 3 and 4 were two chapters that wouldn't have been created otherwise!
> 
> I know that Iain left to be part of the Rapid Response Team, but this is set when he hasn't left yet. So, in that sense, it messes with the Casualty story, so sorry...
> 
> Please review, so I know that you are still enjoying it!


	4. Chapter 4

Connie heard three sharp knocks on her door. All she wanted to do was be alone with her thoughts. Her thoughts about Alfred, but it seemed that was not going to happen and the knocking continued. She instructed the person to come in and saw Rita and Ethan. Rita was the last person she wanted to see, but seeing Ethan looking so panicked, she knew that Rita wasn't there to cause trouble.

"We think Cal may be in a bit of a situation... Rita spoke carefully. Connie nodded her on to continue but Rita just didn't have the words, and Ethan couldn't bring himself to say anything about it. "Well...er..." Rita played Connie the recording, finding it easier for her to not say anything and to have proof. Two birds with one stone. Connie's face turned from being expectant, to one of dread, and one Rita had never seen on the Clinical Lead before.

Ethan was sitting in a world of his own though, not quite believing the situation that unfolded. In some way he blamed himself. He was the one who called to police on Taylor. It was his fault she was arrested. It was his fault Cal is so upset, and it is his fault he wasn't there for his brother. If he had been there for Cal, then he wouldn't have felt the need to get drunk.

On the other hand, Cal chose to get drunk over talking to his brother. True, they weren't really close a year previously, but Ethan and Cal had grown to each other. Ethan wanted to be there for Cal, but he just didn't know how to if Cal wouldn't speak to him.

Ethan was stuck, believing two different things at the same time. As was Cal.

Cal knew that he was in the wrong for accepting a drink off of a complete stranger, but in his drunken state, he could have done anything. However, he shouldn't have been out in the first place. Cal knew what state he could get in when he drinks, so he should've done the sensible thing and stayed at home. Instead, he did what he always had done, causing all of this.

If he told anyone, they would all just lecture him about his stupidity or idiocy. He'd seen enough of these cases to know how to avoid these situations, and yet he was the stupid one that didn't. It was all his fault and he intended to keep it a secret.

Before Connie could say anything in response to the voice recording, she heard Ethan mumble something incoherent from the back of the room, before he walked out. "What did he say?" Connie asked confused.

"Something about being there for Cal…I don't really know…" Rita told her. "What are we going to do?" She sighed. If Cal wasn't going to tell anyone, they would have to find a way to get through to him.

"Honestly, I have no idea." Connie admitted, standing up to be face to face with Rita. "We can't do anything if he doesn't tell anyone."

"How many people admit to these things, though? They always need some push in the right direction." Rita pondered, remembering her experience in these matters.

"He should know what to do. He's a doctor for god's sake!" Connie almost shouted. Her anger wasn't because of Cal, or because he wasn't saying anything. No, it was because one of her members of staff was in this situation. She could only guess how badly Cal must be feeling, and wanted him to know he had the support of everyone.

"Maybe he'll tell Ethan?" Rita asked. In truth, she knew that would be a long shot, as did Connie. They'd had their 'ups' and 'downs' while at Holby, but right now, they were defiantly experiencing a 'down'. "Actually, he won't…" Rita corrected herself, not allowing Connie to come in with a snide remark as she would usually do.

"We could find some excuse to take some blood from him…then check for a date rape drug in his system…" Connie speculated. Rita smiled admiringly at her, before nodding her head in agreement. "I mean, we need an excuse…" That was the worst part. There was no reason why Cal needed to be tested for anything.

"Well, what about…he looks tired, and we want to check if he is okay?" Rita suggested. "Or he looks unwell, and we want to check if he's caught anything."

"He's been looking unwell ever since Taylor's arrest. He's just tired. He'll never believe our motive." Connie had just put her foot in Rita's idea, and Rita grew slightly agitated. In another situation, she probably would've retorted, ' _I'd like to hear your suggestions, then'_ , but in this case, she was happy to let it pass.

"Well, we'll just have to try and get it out of him then." Connie threw her a knowing glance, which Rita returned with a slight smile. "Should be easy enough…" She joked, causing Connie to share a grin with her.

"Cal's a stubborn man. He won't tell anyone, I doubt he'll even tell Ethan. He hasn't already, and he has had chances to." It was more of a spoken thought, and she wasn't expecting a reply. Rita just nodded in agreement. "Hang on, what about his patient…the one going to SARC?" Light bulb moment. "Can't she convince him?" Rita took out her phone and played part of the recording.

 _"_ _No. You are not to tell anyone, understand?!"_ Came Cal's voice. It sounded harsh.

 _"_ _Why shouldn't I? They'll find out sooner or later..."_ She reminded him. Connie was still surprised at how she seemed calm. It baffled her the first time she listened to the recording too.

 _"_ _They won't. I'll make sure they don't."_ Cal sounded determined. Rita and Connie knew it would be hard to get Cal to tell anyone, even confidentially.

_"_ _They will. What about your bruised arms or chest? Your obvious nervousness..."_

_"_ _Don't tell them. Just...don't"_ The harsh manner and tone Cal's voice took on was unmistakable. It sounded like he was determined not to let anyone find out. It was obvious Imogen wouldn't convince him. The light bulb went out.

"Bruises, of course! How could I have been so stupid?" Connie spoke exasperated. It was like she was hearing the conversation for the first time. "He has bruises!" Rita's face was half-way between confusion and bewilderment. On examining Rita's face, Connie explained herself. "He's wearing a long sleeve top. That means he MUST be hiding bruises! He never wears long sleeve tops with his scrubs." Rita could slap herself for being so stupid.

"So, all we have to do it get Cal out of that top." Rita concluded. The smile that she had faded. "That won't be easy…" Connie's hopeful grin faded too. This would be harder than they thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this was basically just a filler chapter, but we'll see Cal again next chapter, which should be up in the next couple of days, hopefully!
> 
> Thank you for reviewing the last chapter, and for the favourites and follows so far. It helps when you know people are enjoying what you write! This is actually turning out longer than expected. Originally it was meant to be a three chapter story- about 3,000 words. But, through a suggestion, it has grown longer. There has been another suggestion from Casualtylovver, and it is not stupid, don't worry. You might be able to see that suggestion come to life in this story.
> 
> Please review if you have a spare minute!


	5. Chapter 5

Dixie sighed as she and Iain saw Cal fall back into unconsciousness. "He is going to have it tough." It was more of a passing comment, but Iain replied just the same, running a hand through his hair.

"Let's just pray and hope he can get through this." His voice was flat, like he had lost all hope for the man lying on the floor by him. Dixie nodded in agreement, wondering just how long it would take for Cal to find out how to ask for help. "Right, you ready?" He asked her, prepping the board.

"Yeah, yeah. Right, on three. One…two…three." On three, Dixie and Iain slid Cal onto the board, noticing he was still not regaining consciousness. "Right, let's get him in the back of the ambulance then examine him properly." Dixie told him, realising how cold it had started to become.

After successfully putting Cal into the back of their ambulance, they both started examining him properly, wincing at the amount of hand-shaped bruises patterning his chest. "Right, yeah. Defiantly a cracked rib or two." Dixie spoke aloud.

"Breathing difficulties as well." Iain continued. "Head wound seems superficial. Stats are looking good. Shall I drive?" Iain asked. Dixie nodded and Iain climbed into the front and took off, leaving Dixie in the back with Cal as he slowly started waking up again.

Pain, constant pain, always in pain. Cold…hang on…not cold. Wasn't there a cold floor just seconds ago? No, warmer, much warmer. Felt himself breathing easier. Light assaulted his vision as the exhaustion was still present. Cal's eyes were opening and closing as he was trying his best to stay awake. He really didn't want to fall into a dreamless sleep again. Being conscious and in pain still seemed more inviting that not having any senses whatsoever and being confused every time you woke.

Dixie had to hold down Cal's hands as he waved them about trying to get off the oxygen mask fixed firmly over his face. "Cal, please calm down. It's helping you breathe." She told him as softly as she could. She felt Cal relax a little and was surprised when Cal didn't flinch away. In truth, Cal was oblivious to many things around him, apart from the pain.

"It…hurts…" Cal breathed out, unable to speak a full sentence from both the breathlessness he was experiencing and the pain.

"I'll get you some more morphine." Dixie said to him, to which Cal smiled his thanks through the oxygen mask. "Don't worry, we'll be at the hospital soon." She comforted the man laid out in front of her. "May I ask how you received those bruises…?" Dixie asked carefully, knowing it was probably the best time to approach the situation. He seemed too tired to think straight, but competent enough. Cal's eyes widened in fear and his breathing picked up. Dixie mentally kicked herself for being so stupid. "Iain, pull over!" She shouted to her colleague, who promptly stopped the ambulance and hopped into the back wondering why Dixie seemed so worried.

Cal was trying, without success, to grab the oxygen mask off of his face. His eyes were glazed over and his breathing was quickening. It was obvious that Cal was in the midst of a panic attack, and by the looks of it, not getting out of it any time soon. Dixie had to hold his hands down, and thankfully, Cal didn't seem to be trying to move anything else, something she and Iain were thankful for.

Hot breath coursed through Cal's memory. He couldn't more under the pressure this man was putting on his arms. Not noticing his fast breathing, or the fact he was in an ambulance. No, he was on the floor in a hotel room, willing for some sort of comfort. It never came.

"He's going to hyperventilate…" Dixie muttered worriedly to Iain, who ran a hand through his hair. "We need to get him calm." She insisted.

"Right, Cal, can you hear me mate? It's Iain. You're in the back of an Ambulance on the way to Holby City ED." Iain tried to speak to the panicking Cal, with no avail. "Just try and calm your breathing, okay? You're safe here, no one will hurt you." He continued. Dixie felt Cal weaken under her grip, but not because he was calming, because he was slipping back into unconsciousness. "Come on, mate. Stay with us, come on." Iain's persistence did nothing as Cal relaxed completely and his eyes shut.

"At least he isn't hyperventilating anymore…" Dixie laughed in spite of everything, and Iain grinned. "We better get back." Dixie suggested, examining Cal for any possible further injury. Iain nodded before jumping back in the front and taking off into the ED.

"If he panics when someone mentions it to him, nothing will go well." Iain commented from the front as they zoomed through a red light- something Iain never forgot the thrill of.

"Well, let's hope Ethan can try and help, eh?" As unlikely as it would be, Dixie and Iain hoped that Cal's brother would be able to help Cal, despite the incidents that have happened in the past few weeks. "I'm glad he's not awake…" Dixie told Iain. Iain face morphed into one of confusion.

"You what?" Why would Dixie be glad he's not awake? Surely a conscious patient in pain would be better than an unconscious one who didn't hurt? Even if that conscious patient had unwanted memories swimming around in his mind from terrible experiences.

"Well, I wouldn't want him seeing how bad your driving is!" Dixie laughed. Oh, so that's why she thought that! Iain understood. Hang on…what?

"You…" Iain spoke in an accusingly jokey tone. Both she and Dixie laughed, but neither of them forgot about the situation in hand, for that was something they wouldn't be able to forget for a long time, and for Cal, he would be haunted by memories of it, for years if he didn't tell anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally wasn't going to involve the paramedics one bit in Shtum, but, well, as you can see I did. So thanks again for that suggestion, Sunsetstargazer! Wow, because of that suggestion, more chapters have been created and this story made longer and better.
> 
> Thank you for your reviews on the previous chapter, and it fills me with joy knowing that people are enjoying what I write.
> 
> If you have a spare minute, please could you review on this chapter?


	6. Chapter 6

Iain pulled up outside the ED, just waiting for the commotion when they realised just who had been brought in. In the commotion, neither Dixie nor Iain had remembered to phone ahead and tell them who exactly had been brought in. All the waiting knew was that it was a man who had been beaten up. Iain opened the doors to the back of the ambulance, noticing Zoe, Robyn and Lofty waiting. Dixie and Iain continue to unload the trolley, and as soon as their three colleagues saw Cal's face, they did nothing but gasp.

"Right, Cal was beaten up. Unconscious at the scene, but regained it not long after we arrived, has been in and out ever since. Suspected about 2 broken ribs, and the head wound seems superficial." Dixie started while they made their way through to RECUS. Lily saw just who had been brought in and ran off to get Ethan. No one made a comment on the bruises that were as clear as day on his bare upper half. Dixie carried on relaying information, but Lily didn't hear it. She was well out of ear-shot of them, and she was only focused on finding Ethan.

Connie had intentions of finding Cal and trying to get him to say something, and Rita was surprised at how soft she seemed. Then Rita and Connie saw Ethan run up to them. He was in a state. "Have either of you seen Cal anywhere?" He rushed frantically, fearing Cal had gone and done something reckless. They shook their heads, looking around.

"He asked Imogen for the..." Rita cursed under her breath when she realised what Cal had done. "He went to confront Mike...the other...man." She informed them. Ethan swore, unusual for him- but given the circumstances- very appropriate, before Lily rushed up to him.

"Cal's just been brought in!" She almost shouted in her desperate state. Ethan's eyes grew wide with shock when he followed Lily to RECUS, Rita and Connie on his heel, and seeing an unconscious and beaten up Cal being transferred onto one of the beds.

His shirt was off and there were slightly older bruises. Hand-shaped bruises. It was obvious what had happened to Cal, and everyone who saw him knew. All that was left was for Cal to admit it. The problem was- Cal was a stubborn man. If he didn't want to admit it, he wouldn't. Ethan just had to find a way to get through to his brother.

Dixie and Iain left the room straight after, but not before Dixie had told Connie about the panic attack. Ethan just stood stock still, staring at his older brother. Never before had he seen Cal look so vulnerable. He would have smiled had the situation not been so serious. He couldn't hear what was going on around him; all he was focused on was his brother. He could see that his colleagues were treating Cal, but nothing was heard.

Zoe could see Ethan in a sort of daze, as his eyes were fixed on his brother. She knew she had to get him out of there, and allowed Connie to take over treating Cal. "Ethan?" Zoe shook his shoulder slightly, causing him to snap out of his personal little bubble. He turned his head towards Zoe and she could see the roar fear in his eyes. "Come on, we'll get a coffee or something." She suggested, only for Ethan to shake his head.

"I don't want to leave him." Ethan surprised himself when he said that. It was like the past couple of weeks never happened. He turned his attention back onto the still unconscious Cal.

"You're no use to him here…" She told him, hoping he would go with her. She could see he was weighing out the options in his head, and then he nodded in defeat and followed Zoe into the staff room, both ignoring questions on the way.

Ethan sat down, wondering just why Cal didn't speak to anyone. As a doctor, he should have known to speak to someone. "Why didn't he?" Ethan spoke aloud. Zoe pushed a mug of coffee into his trembling hands then sat beside him.

"Why didn't he what?" She asked back, confused. Ethan looked at her perplexed face for a second, before realising that he only thought the last bit of that sentence.

"Speak to anyone?" He finished. "He could have told someone." As much as Ethan tried to be disappointed in his older brother, he only found pity for him.

"Maybe because of embarrassment, or because he blames himself?" Zoe speculated. Ethan understood why people don't come clean about these things, because of how traumatic they can be, but the fact that he has told a lot of people how it'll be okay, and they are not the one to blame, made Ethan wonder whether Cal actually believed that.

There was silence between Zoe and Ethan, as they sat, side by side, sipping on their drinks. Zoe didn't know what to say to Ethan, and Ethan didn't have to words to say anything further to Zoe. On Connie entering the room, both doctors stood up- Ethan nearly spilling his half-finished drink in the process. "How…how is he?" Ethan stuttered out. Connie smiled, a warm smile, one which was very rare.

"He's got a couple of broken ribs, and he'll have a sore head for a few days, but nothing too major…" The three looked at each other. No, his most recent injuries weren't major, but something else was. "…he's still unconscious, but he's in cubicles." There was no answer from Ethan as he rushed out of the staff room with the intentions of being by Cal when he woke up. Connie and Zoe stayed back, allowing Ethan to be with his brother alone.

"He is going to have a hard time explaining it all, if he's been this reluctant too." Zoe commented aloud. Connie nodded, before she spoke.

"Let's just hope Ethan can convince him too open up." Connie walked out without waiting for Zoe to reply, and Zoe sat down, feeling sorry for her friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there you go, another chapter for you all! It does get more, is exciting the right word(?), soon.
> 
> If you have a moment, would you mind reviewing, telling me your thoughts on this chapter?


	7. Chapter 7

Lying unconscious in cubicles with a broken rib...or two...a bruised head, and many...many...bruises patterning his chest, Cal was going to have a hell of a task lying through his teeth- something Ethan would expect him to do when he would be confronted.

Lily pulled open the curtain to Cal's cubicle, making Ethan jump slightly. Lily didn't notice this. No, her eyes were examining Cal's shoulders, arms and torso. He looked a mess. Not only with the bruises that caused his broken ribs, but the  _other_  bruises. "Did you want something?!" Ethan snapped at the F2, slightly annoyed Lily was staring at Cal like he was French or something.

"Hmm." She huffed. "I was just coming to see how he was." She spoke softer this time, and gave Ethan a sympathetic smile. He returned it with an apologetic one, which she accepted.

"He'll be okay, I guess." Ethan mused. Yes, his injuries from being punched would heal, but his emotional injuries could scar him for life, something Ethan wasn't prepared to let happen.

"I'll come back later, when he's awake." She told him, knowing Ethan needed time to be with his brother. He nodded his thanks, and the curtain was closed behind her.

Ethan stared at his older brother, before talking. "Now it's me talking to you. Though I suspect you are actually unconscious and not just pretending to be." He laughed slightly, remembering how Cal spilled his heart out unknowingly to a conscious Ethan. "You could have told someone, Cal. Not tried to handle it by yourself. You're a doctor for god's sake." Ethan wasn't angry, and his tone didn't suggest he was angry. He was just disappointed in his brother- despite the ordeal he went through. "Someone can help you, take time to sort things out with you. Whatever happened, know it wasn't your fault. Even if you think it was. It wasn't like you chose it." Ethan laughed slightly when he realised how stupid he sounded. "Look at me, talking to someone who can't even hear me!" Ethan stopped talking after that, and explored his thoughts, thinking of any way possible to approach the situation- which he would have to do soon.

Shifting coming from Cal's bed awoke Ethan from his thoughts as Cal groaned as moving made his ribs more painful. Cal still wanted to move as he was growing more confused. He was constantly switching between a hotel floor, and…wait…he wasn't in the back of the ambulance anymore. He was in hospital. This was not good. He felt two hands on his shoulders, gentle but keeping him still. He flinched away from them and groggily opened his eyes to see the looming but worried face of his brother gaze down upon him. For a second, Cal could swear that it was Mike looking at him, but he relaxed when he knew it was his brother.

But where was he? He couldn't quite confirm it. He knew he had to be in hospital, but it still felt like the hotel, or the pavement, or even in the ambulance. "You're in the hospital, Cal." Ethan told him, noticing Cal's confused look. Ethan moved to the side of Cal and Cal sat up, not registering that his chest was bare and his bruises were visible. Sitting up, there was a painful jarring of his ribs and he grunted. "You were beaten up, couple of broken ribs and a bump to the head." Ethan informed him, smiling at the persistence his brother showed in trying to move. He was pondering whether to ask Cal about the hand-shaped bruises, to try and get Cal to admit it at least, but seeing how on edge Cal was- he decided against it for the time being.

"Imogen- my patient. How is she?" Cal wondered. Ethan looked at him strangely- then realising that this was the girl who went to SARC about 10 minutes previously, the girl who was to thank for telling Robyn about Cal, the girl who inadvertently caused everyone to know, and everyone to want to help.

"She's fine. She wants to press charges." Ethan explained to him. Cal lay back against the bed, which Ethan had lifted up for him. He felt the relief that came with resting again- his ribs causing him unwanted pain. Then Ethan decided to confront the situation, considering they were already on that topic. "She thinks she knows who was there with her." Ethan decided to tread carefully. Cal's eyes opened wide with shock, and he suddenly realised he was topless. His secret was out, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Seeing Cal's reaction to that, Ethan realised he made a wrong move. Damn it! Cal tried sitting up again, fighting through the pain that was made worse every time he moved. "No, Cal. You have to sit still." Ethan persisted. Cal shook his head- making his head ache that he only just realised he had- worse.

"I need to go, Ethan. I need to, I need to…" Ethan had never seen Cal be so panicked, or so agitated. "I need to, I just need to…" It was like Cal repeating the same word would make Ethan let Cal go. It wasn't working. "I need to, I need to…" Cal fought against the pain as much as he could as he swung his legs around. Ethan tried his hardest to disallow Cal's shoulders to move. "I need to go, let me go…" Cal pushed against Ethan's hands, allowing him to step off of the bed and look around for his top.

"Cal, please!" Ethan shouted. Even shouting wouldn't get through to him, but Ethan was lucky that Zoe had heard and came to his aid.

"No, no, no…" Cal muttered. He couldn't see his shirt, but the pain had started to become too much for him to take. "No, no, no…" His frantic whispering continued.

"Cal, please, just get back on the bed." Zoe pleaded; ready to act if anything went wrong. Both Ethan and Zoe heard his mutters silence, but saw Cal standing in one spot, no longer looking around, but swaying on the spot. "Cal?" The pain became unbearable and his eyes rolled back as he collapsed into the arms Ethan had put out for him. Zoe helped Ethan get him back on the bed, before getting him some more morphine.

Only 10 minutes later, Cal started to come round. Zoe had left, and Ethan was sitting by him. Why was he always waking up in some sort of pain? Couldn't he just sleep soundly, for once?

Ethan heard Cal groaning as he woke. "You okay?" He enquired tentatively. Cal just nodded, finding the sheet particularly interesting.

"I don't know what to do, Ethan." Cal told him. "I just don't know what to do." Ethan looked sympathetically towards him, noticing how Cal would look anywhere but him.

"Talking helps…" Ethan suggested, surprised Cal didn't kick off again. Cal ran a hand through his hair before looking straight towards Ethan and speaking- his voice shaking slightly.

"How much do I have to say?" He asked dismissively. Ethan knew the answer to that, but seeing how vulnerable Cal was, he wondered what he would say.

Ethan looked back at Cal, pity clear in his eyes, and spoke. "Everything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is dedicated to everyone who has had a tough/rubbish day!
> 
> I am trying to make the next chapter as sensitive as possible, and realistic, so I have no idea whether it will be completed by tomorrow or not.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please tell me what you thought!


	8. Chapter 8

"Everything?" Cal chocked out, disbelievingly. Ethan nodded encouragingly, wondering whether Cal would tell him everything. "You want me to say everything?" Ethan could swear he saw Cal shift around a bit, curling in on himself a little more, as he confirmed it with a nod of his head. Cal suddenly started looking a little more panicked.

"It will be okay, Cal." Ethan said, soothingly, doubting it would do any good whatsoever to his older brother. "You've got me." Wow. Ethan never thought he'd be saying that anytime soon, but it looked like Cal calmed slightly when his brother told him that.

"Okay, okay..." Cal breathed. "It started when I was in the pub." He couldn't hide his shaking voice. Ethan took to sitting on the bed closer to Cal, hoping it would provide him with a bit of comfort. "I...er...I was enjoying a good night. Getting drunk." Cal laughed slightly, in spite of everything. That was his solution to everything, but last night, it only created more problems. "I didn't know what time it was. I knew I had been there for quite a while. A man...Mike...Mike came up to me. I was surprised at how sober he was to be honest. Me being me, I didn't think anything of it." Cal looked away from Ethan, finding the sheet very interesting as he picked at it. Ethan knew what was coming.

"It will be alright, Cal." His brother encouraged him. Cal didn't quite know how Ethan would react, but decided to carry on nonetheless.

"He told me...he told me that he got a drink for a girl...but...but she turned it down..." Cal took a deep breath in as he relived his stupidity. "He asked if I wanted it. I accepted it. I'm sorry." Cal raised his head to see a shocked looking Ethan. "You probably hate me now, don't you?" Cal mumbled, as his head hung low.

"No, no! Of course I don't hate you, Cal! Why would I hate you?!" Ethan asked him. He knew Cal was blaming himself for what happened. It was clear he was.

"You looked so shocked. I'm sorry." Cal apologised once more. Ethan put his hand underneath Cal's chin, forcing Cal to face his brother.

"I looked shocked because you apologised. You have nothing to be sorry for, Cal." Ethan consoled him. Cal pushed Ethan's hand away feebly; hissing slightly as moving made his ribs more painful.

"But, it was my fault, Ethan. I shouldn't have accepted it. As a doctor, I see many cases like this. I should know how to prevent them!" Cal argued back, finally looking Ethan in the eyes, trying to hold back tears.

"No, Cal. Don't you ever say you are to blame. 1) You were god knows how drunk, which would mess with your thoughts. 2) You never asked for this. 3) As a doctor, you should know that the victim is never to blame." Ethan told his brother straight out, hoping a direct response would get through to him.

Strangely, Cal believed Ethan more than he thought he would, but there was still that nagging inside of him that thought he was to blame. Who knows whether he would ever be able to get rid of that?! Cal nodded to Ethan, focusing all of his attention on his hands that were resting in his lap, shaking. "Do you want to carry on?" Ethan enquired softly. He saw Cal nod again, and felt slight pride for his other brother.

"I bought him a drink to say thanks. Waste of money." Cal smiled as he looked up at his brother, who was also smiling slightly at Cal's attempt of a joke to lighten the mood a bit. "We talked, I don't know how long for...I think it was around 5/10 minutes, or something. I can only remember bits after that." Cal shuddered as memories rushed through his mind of that night, haunting every corner of his head.

Ethan shuffled closer to Cal, laying a hand on both of Cal's shaking hands, bringing him back into reality. This was probably the hardest part. He was making Cal relive the worst night of his life, not even a day after it happened.

Cal noticed Ethan lay his hand on his own, feeling comfort from the slight touch of his brother. Just knowing Ethan was there was amazing. Both of them forgetting about all the Taylor drama. Cal continued, as unwilling as he was. "I remember...er...I don't know how many times I woke up during that night. I was completely out of it." Cal told his brother, not breaking his gaze away from Ethan's hand. "His breath. I remember his breath." Cal could almost feel it on his face again.

Ethan looked at his brother, and felt Cal's hands shake more. Cal was obviously remembering everything, and Ethan could only imagine how traumatising it would be for Cal to carry on. "Do you want to stop, Cal?" Ethan asked gently. Surprisingly, Cal shook his head.

"I've started, so I'll finish." Cal laughed slightly, Ethan did too; both of them remembering their mother watching ' _The Weakest Link'_  when it first aired. The mood changed immediately when Cal continued. "He kept pushing me down with his hands. It hurt like hell. He did have a strong grip..." Cal trailed off, a stray tear falling down his cheek. Ethan clasped both of Cal's trembling hands, and Cal was just glad Ethan was there. "I don't know how long after, but another man came in, and Imogen as well. As I said, I don't really know when...she was unconscious." Cal told his brother, looking at him again. Ethan offered a sympathetic smile back.

"Well, that man's arrested, and Imogen is safe." Was all Ethan could offer to Cal. He wasn't very good in these situations, but this was his brother, and Ethan was going to be there for him- whatever happened.

"There were moments when she was awake, and so was I. She was so scared...Ethan, she was so scared." A few more tears left Cal's eyes as he thought back to that night. "So was I...Ethan...I was so scared...I didn't...I didn't know what to do. I was so...so scared, Ethan...it was terrifying..." Cal choked out as tears flowed freely and he started sobbing. Ethan hated seeing his brother like this, and immediately maneuvered himself into a better position, before holding Cal in a strong embrace, letting his older brother sob into his shoulder.

"It will be okay, Cal. You're safe here." Ethan consoled him, rubbing his hand soothingly up and down Cal's back. Surprisingly, Ethan had never done that to his older brother before. He'd seen his mother do it to Cal when they were younger, and it usually calmed Cal slightly. Ethan was glad it was actually working 20 years later. "It's okay. It will all be okay." No matter how patronising Ethan sounded, it was what Cal needed to hear.

A couple of minutes later, Cal drew back and wiped his eyes...and cheeks...frantically. Pleased that the morphine seemed to be keeping most of his pain at bay, Cal shuffled around a bit, hoping to get slightly more comfortable. Ethan stayed sitting on Cal's bed, something Cal was thankful for. It's just that little bit of comfort that Cal liked from his brother.

"What's going to happen now?" Cal's voice was barely a whisper. He was no longer Dr. Knight who knew what action would be taken. No, he was Caleb. The poor man who terrible things had happened to him, and knew nothing about the proceedings.

"SARC..." Ethan muttered, almost matching his brother's voice volume. He hoped Cal would go to SARC. It would help if he had evidence if he ever wanted to press charges. "If you want, and only if you want." Ethan spoke, slightly louder this time. Cal looked straight into his brothers eyes, hoping to find out what emotions Ethan was hiding when he said the next sentence.

"Can you be there with me?" Ethan smiled warmly and nodded to his petrified older brother. "Thanks, Ethan." Cal could tell Ethan would be there for him throughout everything. It was moments like this- discounting the situation that caused it- that they were both happy to have each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really sorry I never updated yesterday, and this update is late today! I may have accidentally neglected some of my coursework for Art, and it takes ages to complete! Unfortunately, it is due in on Monday, so I spent all of yesterday and today trying to paint an A3 piece. Damn you GCSEs! Oh well, it has to be done, I guess.
> 
> I was listening to the song 'Everybody Hurts' by R.E.M. while writing this. Boy, that was a mistake. I was close to tears afterwards! I hope this was okay. I'm not very good with emotional things, especially on such sensitive matters.
> 
> It's funny how little Fan Fictions there are based around Cal mostly. I suppose it's because everyone likes caring Cal and hurt Ethan! Haha!
> 
> Going back to the coursework thing, I may have neglected English too. Yeah, I'm bogged down with work over this weekend, as well as my Saturday job. Update should be tomorrow if I'm not too busy. If it isn't up tomorrow, it will be up on Sunday. After that, expect slower updates as school resumes and I start getting landed with work every day. Still, I'm glad I'm not in the full-on working world yet, that must be a lot harder!
> 
> What are your thoughts on this chapter?


	9. Chapter 9

Mike knew it wasn't going to be simple. He had to find a way to get Cal out of there before he had the chance to say anything, and there was only one way to do it. Whether it would work- he didn't know, but it was the best…and only…idea he had.

Mike approached the entrance to the ED where Cal had been brought in, looking around for any sign of Cal, just in case he wasn't as badly hurt as Mike thought. He saw a police officer near the door and pulled his hood over his head a little more, shielding his face as much as he could. It was unknown whether that police officer was there for Mike, but he couldn't take any chances.

Walking in as confidently as he could, trying to arouse suspicion, he surveyed the area for any sign of Cal. Nothing- thank goodness for that. He was probably still being treated.

He didn't know where to go though. Then he saw him. A porter was walking idly along, holding a cup of tea, this was his chance.

Mike turned his head, so he only had the corner of his eye watching the porter, and walking straight in to him, making the porter stumble in the process. "Oh, I'm so sorry, mate." He told Mike. Mike smiled warmly, taking note that the porters name was Max, and replied.

"It's okay, don't worry about it." By looking down as his top and sighing, Max realised that this man was covered in tea, and he couldn't possible walk around like that.

"How about I get you another top to wear?" Max suggested. Mike looked at him, thanking all the forces out there that his plan was going smoothly so far.

"Would you? That would be brilliant, thanks!" He grinned at the porter and followed him to, what seemed to be a very cosy looking office, trying to remember the way they were going. He would hate to get lost and delay his plan further.

"Here you go." Max handed Mike a spare porter's top. "I'm sorry, again."

"No, no. It was my fault. I wasn't looking where I was going! I'll come and hand this back tomorrow!" Mike told him. Max nodded and left Mike to change into the porter's top.

Heading back, wracking his brain for the right way, he found himself in the reception area again. Being careful to avoid Max, he grabbed a wheelchair.

Wheeling it into the area he assumed Cal would be in, he went over to the screen sowing who was in which cubicle, being careful to keep his head down so he wasn't noticed much. He looked up, and saw Cal's name next to his cubicle number.

He prayed to all that was holy, and Spider-Man, and hoped that his plan would continue to go as smoothly as he hoped.

Pulling open the curtain to the cubicle, he made a doctor sitting by Cal jump a little, and saw Cal sitting with his head down, and a hand protectively over his ribs. Mike knew that this was because of the injury he had caused Cal, and smiled slightly.

"Come to take you to x-ray." The porter spoke, earning a confused look from Ethan. Not only was this porter not familiar to him, Cal already had an x-ray, and was just resting. Cal didn't even look up. He was too ashamed about what had happened.

"He's already had an x-ray…" Ethan mentioned. Mike didn't let his act fall, but inside he was kicking himself. Of course he would have already had one, he's been her ages. Damn it!

"Er…he needs another one." Mike stumbled out. The man who questioned this, who Mike was getting increasingly scared over- considering he was a doctor, nodded his head. Looking at his name badge, he realised his name was Ethan.

Cal didn't even want to look at this porter. The only person he felt he could look at was his brother, and he just spilled everything out to him. Wanting to be independent, he sat on the edge of the bed, and stood up, stumbling over slightly from the jarring of his ribs. Ethan held onto his arm and held him upright more. Cal gratefully sat down in the wheelchair, not realising the danger he was in.

Ethan decided to stay behind, something Cal was silently thankful for. It's not like he didn't want Ethan to be with him- he just needed a bit of time to be alone, as alone as you could be in a hospital anyway.

Cal placed his hand back over his ribs, shielding them almost, not even bothering to look where he was going. He knew it was x-ray, and he couldn't bear to look at his colleagues.

Mike found his way to a small room- he suspected they kept supplies there. Cal didn't even seem to register where they were going. He put his two fingers on a pressure point on the inside of Cal's neck, and Cal drifted into unconsciousness.

Feeling two fingers on the inside of his neck, Cal was taken by surprise. He had no time to react as he span into darkness for the millionth time that day.

Mike knew what to do from then on. It was simple. He made sure not to be too suspicious as he took an unconscious Cal outside. On his way out, a doctor stopped him and enquired what he was doing.

"Oh, he just wanted a bit of fresh air." Mike replied as innocently as he could. The doctor left them to it, and Mike went straight to his car, which he parked out of sight of the hospital.

He opened up the door as widely as it would go, and lifted a still unconscious Cal into the back of it, laying him across the backseats.

Folding up the wheelchair and throwing it aside, he climbed into the driver's seat and took off, out of the hospital grounds, out of sight, and his plan was successful. Cal was with him, and he wouldn't be able to say a word- at least, Mike thought, anyway, and Mike knew what he would do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, this sounds more like a spy film rather than a medical drama! Oh well, despite how Mike is actually the 'bad guy' in all this, it was surprisingly fun to write it. Okay, okay, I may have used some dramatic license, but the excitement for tonight's episode (Series 29 Episode 29, The Kings Crossing) kind of spilled out into a story…whoops!
> 
> It was funny, because originally, I was going to be a lot more dramatic and use the 'tissue to the face' knock out thing- but considering the realistic aspect of it is really not exciting, and would be hard to achieve (ages of research), this had to do! Made me slightly scared that there are so many pressure points on the human body that, when pressure is applied, can knock you out. Damn…
> 
> It's like 2 minutes until tonight's Casualty episode, and I'm buzzing. Considering you will probably read this after Casualty has aired, what did you think of it?
> 
> Please review! Pretty please!


	10. Chapter 10

It had been 20 minutes, and Ethan was starting to worry. There was no reason for Cal to have a repeat x-ray anyway, and, it was taking longer than expected. He stood up from his seat placed by Cal's bedside, and walked to x-ray to find out what the hold-up was.

No Cal, really? Cal was never there. This was not good. Ethan ran up to Zoe, wondering if she would know anything about the whereabouts of Cal. "Zoe, do you know where Cal is?" He tried to keep his voice level, but you could hear the tremor in it. She shook her head, then took in Ethan's panicked face.

"Ethan, what's wrong?" She asked, concerned. Ethan looked around, just in case Cal was there. He didn't see him, so explained to Zoe.

"A porter tool Cal to x-ray. They were never there." He told her. It was Zoe's turn to look panicked. "I don't know where either of them have gone, Zoe!" Zoe put reassuring hands on Ethan's shoulders, in an attempt to calm his as best she could.

"We'll find him, Ethan. Just, calm down, okay?" Following Ethan's nod, she continued. "Who was this porter, anyway?" She slid her hands off of Ethan's shoulders and took a step back as she saw Ethan shrug.

"I didn't recogn…crap…" Ethan exclaimed. If Zoe was taken aback at Ethan's language, she didn't show it, for she too was thinking the same thing as Ethan.

"I'll call security. You search everywhere!" She instructed, trying to sound as professional as she could- but not hiding the panic that rose after every word.

Ethan did as told. Running around the hospital. Looking in offices, the toilets- everywhere. Nothing. No sign of Cal. No sign of this mystery porter. No sign of anything.

Connie was interrupted when she heard three knock on her door- before Zoe came barging in. Any thought of saying a snide remark towards her colleague was thrown aside as she looked at the panicked figure of Zoe. "Right…I don't want you to worry…" That was a stupid thing to say, but Zoe was just delaying, as much as she could. "But…er…well…Cal may be missing." She rushed out. Connie heard every word- despite the speed at which Zoe spoke.

"How?" Was all the clinical lead could say. There were no words of comfort, no words of reassurance, for she couldn't think of any. Her mind clouded over, and she started shaking.

"Ethan said a porter took him to have an x-ray. He didn't recognise this porter, and Ethan checked in x-ray. He isn't there. He was  _never_  there. The porter and Cal going missing- can't be a coincidence." Zoe chocked out.

"Right…okay. Have you told security?" Zoe nodded- not trusting her voice just in case it broke any minute, which was very likely. "You and I will ask around- see if anyone's seen anything." Connie decided, before she and Zoe headed out of her office, trying to find out where Cal was.

Ethan had given up. Cal was nowhere to be found, and it was Ethan's fault.  _He_  didn't recognise the porter, but he didn't say anything.  _He_  didn't go with Cal.  _He_  didn't protect his brother.

Charlie knew Ethan would need support through this- just like Cal did. He knew that Ethan would probably be tearing himself up inside for not protecting Cal. On Connie's request, he went to find Ethan. To be honest, he would have done it himself, without being told by Connie, because that's the sort of man Charlie is- something Connie was grateful for.

Ethan was woken out of his thoughts by Charlie, who took a seat next to him on the bench in the peace garden. Ethan only realised how cold it had started to become, despite the shivering that had been happening since he came out here. "I should have kept him safe, Charlie." Ethan stated, keeping his gaze fixed into nothingness.

"You wouldn't have known Ethan." Charlie reassured him, starting to shiver himself. "How about we go and get a coffee or something. Before you catch your death." Charlie tried to joke, causing Ethan to smile slightly. He allowed himself to be led inside, noticing the sudden change in temperature between outside and the ED.

Charlie set a cup of coffee by Ethan's hands and sat next to him once again, sipping his own. He saw Ethan take a shaky sip of his. "It can't be easy for you." Charlie observed.

This time, Ethan did look at him. A look of confusion plastered on his face. "I'm not in Cal's position." Ethan said, simply.

"You're right. But,  _you're_  expected to be the strong one.  _You're_  expected to be the wall that Cal can lean on. Sometimes walls can crumble, Ethan." He corrected Ethan, who seemed to accept this, before sipping his warm coffee again- finding the only warmth he had at the minute- not just temperature wise.

"I need to do something, though. I'm just sitting here, while Cal's god knows where. I feel so…useless." Ethan confided in Charlie, who looked Ethan dead in the eyes before speaking.

"You've helped, you care, you are there for Cal, and you have been great to him. That's enough, Ethan. Cal will be okay." Charlie didn't know that for a fact, so decided not to add an ' _I promise'_  onto the end of that sentence. That didn't faze Ethan. All Ethan needed to hear was that Cal was going to be okay- so he wasn't the only one that still had hope.

Mike turned around when he heard shuffling coming from the back of his car. He hadn't strapped Cal in- he was carelessly laid out across the backseats. It was Cal- moving. This was bad. If Cal was regaining consciousness, Mike wouldn't be able to get him far enough away without Cal trying to make a run for it. Mike didn't have time to think of anything else. His head spun back around when he heard the loud beeping of a car horn- belonging to a car that was heading at his at full speed.

There was no time to do anything- not even think. It all happened so fast. The sound of glass. The sound of car horns. The sound of screaming. The sound of brakes. The sound of nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is really late! I've been coughing up my guts since Sunday. That's a mental image…aghh… Anyway, sorry again! I'm not entirely pleased with this chapter as my mind is filled up with nothingness following the effects of being Sleeping Beauty (Ahhh, it's one of those classics you never forget!), but I thought I would post it anyway!
> 
> There was a review on Chapter 3 by Glittergirl12 (then using the name Casualtylovver). They said, "...maybe Cal goes into hospital and Mike gets to him and takes him away from the hospital and they end up in a car crash..." As you can see, the suggestion was used, so thank you very much for it.
> 
> Please review! (I know I always ask people to review, but if a nice review is left, it means that I know people still enjoy it, and as a writer, it is amazing when people like what you write!


	11. Chapter 11

Traffic was caused as people came to sudden stops after the site they just witnessed. A head-on collision, and screaming. On-lookers saw nothing but destruction. The front end of both cars was completely smashed to bits, and no one, inside either car, was moving. An ambulance made its way onto the scene, the blue lights grabbing everyone's attention. Not only from the ambulance, but from the police car that followed. On-lookers for forced to stand back, and Dixie and Iain- along with other paramedics rushed to the scene, trying to hush the worried whispers coming from those that had witnessed the scene.

Dixie and Iain rushed to the car with two casualties inside, deciding it was best. Two of their colleagues with them. Two other paramedics ran over to the other car, leaving Dixie, Iain, Sue and John to the two passenger car. Together, they forced the driver's door, and the backseat passenger doors, open.

"Can you look for some ID?" Dixie instructed Sue while she was checking over the man in the front, John holding his head as still as possible. "Can you al…" The rest of the sentence was lost into nothingness Dixie recognised the figure that lay still in the back of the car, bloodied. Cal, who had gone missing from the hospital a good 45 minutes ago. She had her suspicions about just who must be in the driver's seat. "Iain, it's Cal." She whispered- her voice showed she was close to tears. Iain looked properly at the figure, seeing through the blood soaked face, the injuries he had sustained. It was, in fact, Cal. Hadn't that poor man been through enough for one day?

"No output!" John exclaimed, talking about Mike. "We need to get him out as soon as possible." He spoke worriedly. He heard Dixie and Iain, and he also had an idea about just who was technically dead. But, he and Sue had a duty of care, and anyway, their suspicions weren't confirmed. Until Sue found the ID.

"Michael Potter." She stated, reading out from a gym membership card. Michael- Mike. They were certain now- there was no such thing as a coincidence. He was in a porter's top, and he had taken Cal. "We have to do our job." She continued, noticing the angry looks on her colleague's faces. "We just do." All three of them nodded. "We'll have to tell the police."

"Cal doesn't look like he'll last much longer either, Dix." Iain told her- panic present in his shaking voice. They started examining Cal, trying not to show emotion, trying to let being a paramedic come before anything else, but neither of them were managing it that well.

They watched as John and Sue sorted out Mike, still doing CPR on him, and transferring him into the back of an ambulance, before speeding off- a police car following closely behind. Both Dixie and Iain were thinking exactly the same thing, "I hope he doesn't make it." Dixie said aloud. It was not something you hear every day- from anyone- but, it was entirely appropriate in a situation like this. Neither of them wanted that man to do anything else- to anyone- especially Cal.

"Okay, observation." Iain started. "He has a blunt chest trauma- possible haemothorax, and those broken ribs aren't going to fare much better. He has a head laceration, and a fair bit of bruising from where he wasn't strapped in." Iain stated, still trying not to get his personal life mixed up with this.

"Come on, Cal. Wake up." Dixie urged- knowing it probably wouldn't do any good whatsoever. "Right, can you get the spinal board and collar, and I'll attach a drip." Dixie instructed- she too was trying to be as professional as she could be. Iain nodded, before running off, getting what they needed.

Dixie saw Cal stirring slightly, and saw as his eyes fluttered open. Again with the pain! Why is it always pain?! Why was he always sleeping and waking up in pain?! Cal was getting sick of the amount of times that had happened. However, he couldn't make sense of what was causing the pain this time.

"Cal, it's Dixie." She spoke, trying to get his attention. "You've been in a car accident." Dixie told him, wondering whether he could, in fact, hear her. If she didn't know, the incoherent mutter soon told her that he was, at least, alert. "What was that?"

"Eth…an…" He whispered slightly louder, the word just letting Dixie know how much pain he was actually in. She got about setting up a drip, while still talking to Cal, trying to keep him conscious. The last thing they needed was for him to slip back into yet another dreamless sleep.

"We'll get you to the hospital, then you can see him, okay?" It would never fail to make her smile- just how much Ethan and Cal needed each other. Dixie slipped an oxygen mask over Cal's face, just as he was starting to fade again. "Just, stay awake, Cal. Okay, keep those eyes open. You won't be able to see Ethan if you fall asleep, now, will you?" She joked slightly.

Cal smiled slightly through the oxygen mask. "I… don't… wa…nt… to… wake… up… in… pa… pain… ag… ain… not… goi.. ng… to… sleep…" He laughed slightly, causing him more pain. "I'm…cold…" He managed to get out, knowing that his teeth would start to chatter soon.

"Once we get in the ambulance, you'll be warmer. Just, keep calm for me, Cal." She assured him just as Iain came running back with the spinal board and collar, smiling when he saw Cal was awake, but he still felt sorry for him- more than he would ever know. Poor Cal was all that was rushing through Dixie's and Iain's heads.

Dixie managed to give him some morphine, which managed to ease his pain by the time they were ready to transfer him over to the spinal board, but he lost the battle with his exhaustion and lost consciousness…again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite this being fiction, I still can't help but feel sorry for Cal...god..I'm really making him suffer...sorry, Cal!
> 
> If you have a couple of seconds, please tell me your thoughts?
> 
> (In 'The Spark that Lit the Flame', I was asked if I could do a continuation of that story. I just can't think of any idea's, even from wracking my brain. Sorry if you are disappointed…)


	12. Chapter 12

"Right, listen up everyone!" Connie called to the department. She'd had a call from the paramedics explaining the situation, and could tell it wasn't going to go down well. "There has been an RTC, with three people injured. We're going to need RECUS clear for them." She said. On top of that, she was having an inward debate about telling them who exactly was coming in. She then took in the facial expression of Ethan- obviously still worried about Cal. She needed to tell them. "In one of the cars was Cal." Everyone's heart plummeted, and Ethan's face drained dramatically of all colour. "He was an unrestrained passenger. The driver of that vehicle is coming in now, and there will be a police officer with him at all times." She couldn't say anymore.

"You mean…he…he r…" Ethan couldn't continue, as a lump had formed in his throat. A nod from Connie made him furious. He felt Robyn put a reassuring hand on his arm, but he shrugged it off, before walking to the staffroom.

Connie watched him go, like many others did, before continuing. "I know this is going to be hard, but, be professional." She warned them, before she too walked off.

Charlie knew how Ethan had taken this already, but didn't want him doing anything stupid, so decided to go and talk to him. Upon opening the staffroom door, Charlie could see a furious looking Ethan with a cut and bleeding hand. He was standing up, leaning on the table, and there was a smashed mug by him. It was obvious he smashed it on the table out of pure anger. To be honest, Charlie wasn't surprised.

"You okay?" Was the statement to snap Ethan out of his little bubble. He jumped and turned around to see Charlie standing there looking concerned. He just nodded, only now realising that there was a shooting pain through his hand. "You going to let me look at that?" Charlie asked tentatively. Following another one of Ethan's nods, Charlie walked up to Ethan and took his hand, inspecting it carefully, wincing as Ethan hissed in pain. "I'm going to have to clean and dress this, Ethan."

"Yeah, sure." He replied in a monotone, allowing himself to be led to an empty cubicle, and Charlie to do as he said previously. Connie interrupted them when she walked in.

"Cal…" She was going to continue, but she then looked at Ethan's hand, concerned, wondering what exactly happened.

"Cal's what?" Ethan persisted, causing her to remember what she was going to say in the first place.

"Cal's on his way in." She informed them, before leaving promptly. Ethan just wanted to see him, to make sure he was okay. Then again, he wanted to see Mike, he wanted to see the man that did that to his brother.

"I'm going to go and wait for Cal." Ethan decided suddenly, but was stopped by Charlie holding back his arm. Ethan turned back around, looking confusingly at Charlie.

"Wait until he's been checked out first, Ethan." Charlie told him. Ethan knew there was no point in arguing against Charlie, because when Charlie's mind was made up, there was no changing it.

Luckily, Cal was awake and aware when the ambulance parked outside the ED, albeit, a little scared, but that was completely understandable. "Right, here we go, Cal. Home, sweet, home." Dixie joked- causing Cal to smile a little.

Iain hoped out the ambulance, and helped Dixie with the trolley. "Hello Cal…do you like arriving on trolleys or something…" Zoe laughed. Robyn smiled at this too. This was the second time in a day Cal had been brought in- he must be going through hell.

Cal was aware of people's attempts of jokes, and information being reeled out at 90mph over his head as he was taken through to CDU. It would have been RECUS, but a last minute decision- a last minute sensible decision- because Mike was still in RECUS…dead. He was still trying to be resuscitated- even though no one really didn't want to resuscitate him.

Cal was then aware of the sudden pain he felt shoot through him as he was moved over to the bed. He tried to withhold his groan- but it escaped him, so was glad when Robyn gave him some more morphine.

Ethan nearly jumped from the chair in the staffroom when Zoe entered. Charlie had taken to sitting with Ethan- not trusting him to be alone. "He's going to be fine. His ribs didn't fare to well, and he has mild concussion. So we want to keep him in for a little bit longer, but he should be good to go home later." Zoe informed him. "Do you want to see him?"

"Yes." Ethan answered plainly, before following Zoe to Cal's cubicle, leaving Charlie to get on with his day. The curtain was pulled open and Cal looked up to the worried face of his brother. Zoe left them to it, and Ethan sat beside him, for the second time that day.

"What you done to your hand?" Cal asked, noticing the dressing covering his brother's hand. Ethan hesitated slightly, before answering.

"I…er…slipped and cut it." Cal would've laughed if his ribs hadn't have hurt when he did that, before looking knowingly at Ethan.

"I know when you're lying, Ethan. I've known you all your life- remember!" Ethan sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I may have accidentally cut it on a smashed up mug…" He replied carefully. Receiving another  _'look'_  off of Cal, he continued. "Okay, so I may have been the one that originally  _smashed_ the mug…" Cal smiled at his brother- he knew why Ethan had done that. Ethan saw his brother and smiled too. "Anyway, how're you feeling?" Now Cal was the one to hesitate- but for a completely different reason.

"Fine, I guess." He suddenly started picking at the sheets, knowing full well that Mike was currently in the hospital. In truth, he was scared stiff- not that he'd show it.

"You'll be fine, Cal." Ethan comforted him. "You're always fine!" Cal didn't look up, or smile as he would usually. Too many things were racing through his mind. He kept reliving the night, and didn't think he would ever shake those memories. That warm breath, the pressure of hands on his shoulders, the constant darkness that he slipped into, the pain he felt when he woke up.

"I'm never going to forget it, am I?" Cal's voice was unmistakably shaking, and he still wouldn't look up at Ethan. Ethan rested a hand on Cal's arm- trying to provide some sort of comfort to his older brother.

"You will, in time. You just need to…work things through, make every effort to try and swerve your life away from it." Ethan told him, hoping Cal would take in every word Ethan said. "And, I'll be there, every step of the way." Cal didn't look up, but just replied with a ' _thanks'_.

Zoe walked into Cal's cubicle, and could see Cal, with a facial expression that she couldn't decipher, and a silent Ethan sitting on a chair next to the bed. On Zoe entering, both boys' heads shot up. "I have some news about Mike…" She told them. Cal looked like he wanted to jump off the bed; Ethan just looked expectantly at her. "He didn't make it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for the late update, but I just could not find the words to make this even mildly compelling. Still not entirely happy with this chapter, but I spent most of the evening on it- I really was struggling! Sorry for the slight time skip in the middle as well. When looking at the word count, without this A/N, the word count is 1,234…I just laughed at that. Just thought I'd mention it…haha!
> 
> I hope you like it, all the same. Please tell me what you think of it?


	13. Chapter 13

**"** You mean…he's…dead?" Ethan asked wearily, not quite sure that he heard her right. She nodded, and Cal looked away- processing what he'd just been told. Ethan didn't ask anything else, so Zoe left them to it. "You okay?" Ethan approached this cautiously, not wanting to cause anything between them. He just received a simple nod from Cal's turned away head. "Come on, Cal. Don't shut me out." Whether this was the right thing to say or not, Ethan would soon discover.

After couple of moment's silence, Cal finally spoke. "If he's dead, that means he can't pay for what he's done." Ethan knew it made sense. When you're dead, you are free, you don't have a conscious, and you can't get your comeuppance.

"At least, now, he can't get to anyone else, Cal. Just, think of it that way." Ethan persuaded. Cal turned his head and looked at Ethan, and Ethan could see tears in the corner of his brother's eyes.

"I don't think I can." Cal admitted. Ethan placed a reassuring hand on Cal's shoulder, unsure what to say next. Cal lay back down, stifling a groan as his ribs made themselves known, shut his eyes, and attempted to go to sleep. Ethan sat back and watched the gentle rise and fall of his brother's chest, signalling that he was sleeping. Not wanting to leave his brother's side, Ethan just sat watching his brother, wondering how Cal will ever get over it. Ethan knew that, in time, Cal would move on, but so much had happened, he just wondered when.

Around 20 minutes later, Connie walked into Cal's cubicle, being quitter when she saw he was sleeping. She handed Cal's painkillers to Ethan quietly, before whispering to him. "Is he okay?" If Ethan was taken aback at Connie's caring manner, he didn't show it. He nodded, before looking over at Cal, making sure he was still sleeping.

"I think, anyway." He answered truthfully. Connie nodded in understanding, before leaving as silently as she entered.

When Cal woke, it was dark outside. He realised it was Ethan waking him up. "We can go home if you want, Cal." Ethan suggested. Cal's eyes lit up, and he would have jumped off the bed if his ribs didn't complain. Cal gathered his things, with the help of Ethan.

"Ethan…" Cal started cautiously. "What about…what about SARC…?" He let his head drop down. The thought of it made him shiver- but as a doctor, he knew it had to be done. Ethan was quite pleased with Cal. He, himself didn't want to mention it, and it showed Cal having guts for he was the one to mention it.

"Whenever you're ready, Cal." Ethan told him softly. He saw how Cal seemed to hesitate, as if tripping over words. Then, Cal took a deep breath and told Ethan what he didn't expect to hear.

"Now." Cal replied simply. Ethan stifled his smile at Cal's confidence, even though he could see right through the façade Cal place in front of him.

"I'll go and sort it, wait here?" Cal nodded in answer and Ethan went off to do just that. Cal was slightly glad that he was alone- despite how on edge it made him feel.

Finally was all Cal thought. Finally it was over. He walked out of the room, as fast as he could with his ribs the way they were. He was happy Ethan had agreed to wait the whole time he was in SARC. "Well, that's done and dusted." Cal spoke, relieved, to his younger brother. In all honesty, Cal was glad to have Ethan by his side. Not only for the comfort he provided, but for the sense of security Ethan unknowingly offered.

"How about we go home, stick a DVD on, order pizza and relax?" Ethan suggested, hoping to take Cal's mind off of recent events.

"Sure, nibbles." Yep, Cal was starting to forget already. "Only if I get to choose the DVD." He negotiated. Ethan laughed slightly, at two things. The first, Cal was obviously making every effort to forget, and second, how well he was passing it off as if the past day hadn't happened.

They happily walked out of the ED, got into Ethan's car, and drove home. Although Cal was constantly thinking about what had happened, it was now over, and he could finally try to forget, happy in the knowledge that Imogen was safe, Mike was gone, Jake would be locked up, no one would treat him any differently...and Ethan let him choose the DVD without arguing about it.

One thing Cal learnt- never keep shtum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed and favourited this story! What started out as a suspected 3,000 word offering of a story, ended up being…well…this long! I guess, sometimes, you can get a little carried away!
> 
> Thank you again, and I really appreciate your support, for this story never would've been completed without you! Can you review for the final time on 'Shtum'?
> 
> Thank you!

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter one done! This wont be very long, and I am currently writing Chapter two. Please review!


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